Friday, January 1, 2010

The First Brave Step

For some time now one of my guilty pleasures has been reading blogs, particularly mommy blogs and foodie blogs. Through these blogs, I see women striving to glorify God in the every day things of being mothers, home managers, cooks, etc. Though I am not a mother, I some day hope to be one. I am a newly wed who is first a daughter of God. I have yearned to write a blog for months now. I've hesitated, feared, and avoided it. Here is a journaled prayer that I wrote some time ago that can explain my heart for this little endeavor.

Oh Lord, I want to write! To express my heart, the good and the bad, to flush it out and explore the depths that feel untouched but present. How to do that? It is scary - what if it is a cliché, been there done that, repetitive attempt that is lack luster and lacks adventure, wit, and joy? So concerned with what others will think… I hate that. Scared to put myself out there. 
I am a dreamer, afraid to get in the game, I don’t want to fail. Pride, oh sickly pride, has infested me and conquered. God, I cry out for freedom, the freedom that You offer. To be humble and to live life knowing that You’ve got my back, that no step that I take goes unnoticed and unprotected by You. That knowledge provides so much comfort.
Provide a way to glorify You in it. I pray that it would be a blog, an opportunity, for me to draw closer to You, to discover myself and to enjoy this life You have for me. I pray that it points to You in a way that opens the eyes of the hearts of readers, that it would encourage them to seize the life You’ve given them. That seems kinda lofty, I am not sure if I can do this. Help me, God, and may it all go to You.

This is the first brave step. There will be more to come.

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